RECAP – April 13th

Hotrod Honeys Break Heartbreakers to Secure 1st Seed for Semi-Finals; Hell Marys Defeat Hustlers 272-139

This week’s bouts saw two undefeated teams, the Hotrod Honeys and the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers, face off to secure the first seed for the upcoming season semi-finals, while the struggling Hell Marys and Hustlers battled to escape last place. In the opening game, the Hotrod Honeys leapt out to an early lead and as the match continued, they steadily outscored the Heartbreakers to secure a 204-118 victory—and the top slot for June’s semi-finals.

The second game was a battle for pride as well as seeding, with the 2012 champion Hell Marys taking on the 2011 champion Hustlers—neither team having won a bout since their respective championships. The teams were neck and neck for the first 15 minutes, but a power jam for the Hells’ Sinnerfold halfway through the first period opened the game up. The Hells never took their foot off the gas pedal from then on, holding a 162-70 halftime lead that stretched to 272-139 by the final whistle. Following this game, the Hustlers will head into finals bottom-seeded again, with the Hells ranked third.

June’s game establishes seeding for the Championship bout, with the first-seeded Hotrod Honeys taking on the fourth-ranked Hustlers, and the second-seed Heartbreakers playing the third-seed Hell Marys.

However, a night at the roller derby means more than just the on-track action and this was a particularly special night for the Texas Rollergirls. We honored our local Girl Scouts, setting aside a special section for 350 of them and their families. We also recognized the achievements of the five top fundraisers for the year, Savannah, Lucy, Amber, Skye and Jade. Savannah was the top cookie seller in attendance and blew the opening whistle for the first bout of the night under her new honorary derby name, Tough Cookie!

We were also proud to debut Deaf Awareness Derby, reaching out to the local Deaf and hard of hearing community to join us for a full-access night of full-contact roller derby. We had six American Sign Language interpreters on hand, including Rec league skater Dark Pistol, to convey our commentary and welcomed the outgoing Miss Deaf America 2010-12, Rachel Mazique, as our second celebrity whistle blower of the night under the derby name Roll Model.

Keep reading for a play-by-play recap of this week’s bouts – or head to our ticketing page to secure your spot at the next Texas Rollergirls bout on May 11, when our all-star Texecutioners and the Firing Squad will take on the A and B teams from Rocky Mountain Rollergirls (Denver, CO). Every bout this year has sold out, so get your tickets early – we don’t want you to miss out!

Hotrod Honeys Take Out Honky Tonk Heartbreakers, 204-118

The Hotrod Honeys leapt out to an early lead, opening up a 16-0 gap over the first three jams of the game. At that point, they were dealt a blow with standout Oliva Shootin’ John scoring two minutes in the penalty box—and the Heartbreakers capitalized to get on the board as Flash Gorgeous, with the aid of a 4-3 pack advantage, put up the first points for her team. DeBella DeBall backed that up with four of her own, leaving the score at 16-7 in the Hotrods’ favor with seven minutes elapsed.

In the next jam, the Hotrods haemmorhaged blockers, with every single blocker on the track being signaled to the box over the course of the two minutes. A lengthy official time-out ensued as the zebras clustered around the penalty box—and when play resumed, the Heartbreakers held a 4-1 pack advantage … but Bloody Mary leapt through to secure lead jammer status for the Hotrods. With Naeslayer hot on her heels for the Heartbreakers, that jam went 0-0.

The Hotrods continued to experience penalty trouble but with OJ and Bloody Mary holding down the fort in the pack, they were still able to contain the Heartbreakers and, slowly, add points. With 18 minutes remaining in the half, the Hotrods held a 36-11 lead.

A couple of jams later, it was the Heartbreakers’ turn to run into penalty trouble, with Big Nasty landing in the box followed, shortly thereafter, by jammer Desi Cration after a track cut. Other blockers followed, leaving Ruby Wring the only Heartbreakers’ skater on the track as Hauss the Boss racked up points for the Hotrods. She’d brought their lead to 70-15 by the end of the jam—and the next two jams went 10-1 in the Hotrods’ favor overall.

That ratio changed a little as the period clock ticked down—with five minutes left, the Heartbreakers had added 4 more points to bring their score to 20 against the Hotrods’ 87. But that was the end of their scoring for awhile, as jammer DeBella DeBall was called for a multi-player block. The Hotrods went to passive offense, setting up camp in front of the VIP section.

DeBella returned to the track before the jam ended but picked up a second penalty—this time for a track cut—which allowed the Hotrods to stretch their lead to 117-24 with a minute left in the period. The Hotrods sent out Olivia Shootin’ John to close out the half and she added 15 before DeBella returned to play. With the Heartbreakers’ jammer working on an initial pass, OJ went for 20 but was knocked to the infield—she took a knee to avoid a track cut and called the jam off from the floor as she slid back in-bounds. As the teams headed to the locker room, the Hotrods held a 136-24 lead.

In the first jam back from the half, though, it seemed that the Heartbreakers’ luck was turning. Hauss landed in the penalty box with the Hotrods’ jammer star. Flash Gorgeous more-than-doubled the Heartbreakers’ score in a single jam, bringing it to 136-49 in the Hotrods’ favor with 27 minutes to play.

But it wasn’t to last and it was then the Hotrods’ turn for a power jam as NaeSlayer landed in the penalty box. They turned that into a 19-1 jam—and followed it up with another 14 to stretch their lead to 159-50.

As the clock ticked past ten minutes elapsed, it was all action as Kitty Carnage caught a power jam for the Heartbreakers. She was able to add 20 points to her team’s total despite heavy defense from the Hotrods, including a punishing hit from Olivia Shootin’ John that left her slow to get up. The Hotrods—when they had a jammer on the track, at any rate, continued to rack up points, establishing a 99-point lead at 171-72 with sixteen and a half minutes to play. An official time-out stopped the clock at that point, as the Heartbreakers’ coach Koolaid headed into the infield to chat with the refs.

The teams traded a couple of low-scoring jams before the Heartbreakers picked up a big opportunity, with Flash Gorgeous wearing their star and Bloody Mary headed to the penalty box with the Hotrods’. The jam came to an end just seconds later, though, and prompted an official time-out to determine whether Bloody’s penalty was called before or after she called off the jam. It seems that the former was true, since play resumed with a Hotrods jammer on the track.

The Hotrods were able to extend their lead a little in the next few jams, bringing it to 196-81 with 7 minutes left to play. NaeSlayer added a crowd-pleasing 9 points in the next jam over Bloody Mary—and Hauss the Boss looked set to retaliate, picking up lead jammer in the following jam, before landing in the box following a track cut. Heartbreakers’ jammer Adde Russell closed the gap to 200-115 in the Hotrods’ favour in the ensuing power jam—but just 4 minutes remained on the clock as the Heartbreakers called a timeout, which was then converted to an official timeout.

Both teams packed the penalty box with blockers as the period clock ticked down—as the jam concluded, there were three Heartbreakers occupying the penalty box and two Hotrods. The score stood at 204-115 in the Hotrods’ favor and under two minutes were left on the clock as Flash Gorgeous took the star for the Heartbreakers. She picked up lead jammer status as Desi Cration and Ruby Wring locked down on Hauss the Boss, but the gals in gingham could only add two points in that jam—which proved the last of the night as the clock ticked down between jams. At the final whistle, the Hotrod Honeys had secured a 204-118 win, a 3-0 record for the season and the #1 seed for the upcoming championship bouts.


Hell Marys Dispatch Hustlers, 272-139

The second bout of the night saw the 2012 champion Hell Marys tackle the 2011 champion Hustlers—and neither team has won a game since their respective championships. Sadie Mae Care put up a quick grand slam to open the game with five points for the Hustlers and Hotbox added two in the next jam—but Babyface Assassin had gained lead jammer status for the Hells and called off the jam to stop the Hustlers’ scoring.

The next jam went very much in the Hells’ favour, though, as Smarty Pants put up 20 points to give her team a 20-10 lead with five minutes elapsed. Chasing Amy struck back with a 4-0 over Sinnerfold as the Hustlers formed a four-wall at the front of the pack.

The teams traded low-scoring jams throughout the next several minutes and the game remained close, with the score standing at 37-34 in the Hells’ favour with 19 minutes left in the period.

The next jam started with D.I.E standing in the penalty box as the Hells’ jammer and Hotbox on the line with the Hustlers star; the Hustlers converted that into a quick lead jammer call and a lead change, taking the lead with a score of 38-34. The Hustlers sent out Chasing Amy to follow up and while she struggled on her initial pass in the face of heavy defense from B-Money, Amy was able to turn that into a key opportunity when Babyface Assassin landed in the penalty box following a back block. Amy brought the score to 46-42 in the Hustlers’ favor before landing in the box herself after a major track cut, just as Face returned to the track. At the end of the jam, the Hustlers held a two-point lead at 49-47.

Both teams had just two blockers on the track in the following jam and Sinnerfold was jamming unopposed for the Hells; she picked up lead jammer status near-instantly and took the lead for her team, bringing the score to 57-49 with 14 minutes left in the period.

The Hells followed up on that in yet another power jam, as Smarty Pants ran for points over a boxed Hot Box; that stretched the Hells’ lead to 30 points at 82-52, and Sinnerfold added 4 more in the next jam before Hot Box returned to play, to bring it to 86-52 Hells.

The Hustlers gave up a big opportunity a couple of jams later; Hot Box headed to the penalty box with the purple star for a track cut and several of her blockers followed her, at one point leaving the Killa Sal Monella as the only Hustler skater on the track. That let Sinnerfold stretch the Hells’ lead to 109-52 with about seven minutes left in the period.

The margin remained around 50 points over the next five minutes, but with two minutes left, the Hustlers filled their penalty box and the Hells capitalized, pulling out to a 141-70 lead. They added a further 21 to bring it to 162-70 as the teams headed to the locker room for halftime.

The opening jam of the second period was more of the same—the Hustlers lost their jammer and a blocker to the penalty box, leaving Sinnerfold to add another 20 points to the Hells’ total. While Chasing Amy was able to add four for the Hustlers, the Hells continued to rack up points—until Sadie Mae Care scored a power jam with seven minutes elapsed. That jam went 14-0 in the Hustlers’ favour, leaving the score at Hustlers 91, Hells 192 with 22 minutes left to play.

An official time-out ensued as a back block in that jam caught up with Chasing Amy and the score was corrected, adding four points to either side’s tally. Peppermint Bratty ran for just five in the ensuing power jam and called it off, leaving Chasing still seated in the penalty box. Babyface Assassin picked up lead jammer status in the next jam but Chasing came out of the penalty box and through the pack right behind her, holding the damage to 1-0 for the Hells.

The Hells had a 4-2 pack advantage in the next jam and Babyface Assassin made quick work of the pack to pick up lead jammer status; Hot Box was hot on her heels, though, and forced Face to call the jam off for 3-2 Hells. That left the score at 209-97 in the Hells favor, with 17 minutes left on the clock.

Both teams picked up a few handfuls of points over the next few jams but then the Hells’ defense locked Chasing Amy down in the pack, letting Babyface Assassin extend the Hells’ lead to 226-101. However, the team’s fortune turned when Face picked up a major track cut with 13 minutes left to play. Amy wasn’t able to make a pass, but the jam expired on time, leaving Sadie Mae Care to take the star to run out the power jam. It only turned into an additional 2 points for the Hustlers, though, since Sadie called off the jam as Face stood in the penalty box.

As the clock hit 9 minutes, Hustler jammer Hot Box picked up an illegal procedure penalty as the jam elapsed, handing the Hells a power jam with the score at 228-107 in the Hells’ favor. With a full complement of blockers for both side, Smarty Pants took nearly a minute to make her initial pass—and called off the jam with no points as Hot Box stood in the penalty box.

Two jams later, Smarty Pants was first out of the pack to pick up lead jammer for the Hells and upon being awarded lead, Hustlers jammer Sadie Mae Care called off the jam—but as the whistles blew, Smarty dove into the pack … quite literally. She picked up a penalty for blocking with the head and the Hustlers sent Sadie back out for the next jam.

Both teams filled their penalty boxes in the next jam, with blockers repeatedly picking up penalties for destroying the pack. At one point, the teams were fielding just three skaters between them—a Hustlers jammer and a blocker for each side. At the conclusion of that jam, the Hells held a 110-point lead at 232-112, with just under four minutes remaining to play.

More chaos ensued in the next jam, as Fifi Nomenon’s jammer star was knocked right off her head—and didn’t notice until her bench coach drew it to her attention. She picked it up on the next pass, but had sacrificed a scoring opportunity. The score stood at 259-134 in the Hells’ favour when the jam expired—but Babyface Assassin picked up a back block penalty right as it did. The Hustlers called a time out at that point to stop the clock with 1.41 left to play.


When play resumed, the Hustlers held a 4-2 pack advantage and turned that into a lead jammer call for Sadie Mae Care; but she picked up a penalty for skating out of bounds as she headed past the boundary attempting to call off the jam. Babyface Assassin was then able to close it out for the Hells, adding a series of grand slams to bring the final score to 272-139 for the Hells.

Overall standings (W-L)

Hotrod Honeys: 3-0
Honky Tonk Heartbreakers: 2-1
Hell Marys: 1-2
Hustlers: 0-3

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